A trauma-informed approach to sales, marketing and purchasing
In this article you will learn how adopting a trauma-informed approach to sales, marketing and purchasing, in both your personal and professional lives may result in achieving more with less.
On the first day of my undergraduate studies in Marketing and Management my Lecturer asked the class to define what marketing was. A great question to pose to a group of enthusiastic eighteen and nineteen year olds who were about to embark on four years of study of that very topic.
After we had offered our thoughts, the Lecturer informed us that marketing was in fact – Giving the customer what they wanted.
Throughout the four years that followed we learned strategies to psychologically manipulate consumers into thinking that they needed what we were marketing, by pushing on their pain points and creating urgency to buy within a certain timeframe.
Now, almost twenty years later with much life and business experience under my belt, I feel much discomfort in the ethos of giving the customer what they want by appealing to their pain points, in a time scarcity manner.
How was making them feel bad about themselves and exploiting their feelings of time scarcity, truly giving them what they wanted?
While there is a need to understand the psychological aspect of selling and buying the missing piece of the puzzle I now realise is understanding what is happening inside of someone’s nervous system when they are buying or selling.
Scarcity
Based on the original definition of marketing I learned, ´giving the customer what they want,´ it implies that the person consuming is without something they need to solve their problems. In other words, the consumer is in a position of scarcity, having less of what they need.
In today’s society, we see so many examples of scarcity, with people regularly complaining about not having enough time, money, patience, determination, resources etc. The constant pressure to do more with less creates a very specific psychological and physiological response inside each of us.
This feeling of scarcity impacts your nervous systems in a very similar way to trauma, compressing your window of tolerance/resilience so much that you are unable to engage your cognitive capabilities thereby affecting your ability to think rationally and logically.
As a result of this compression in your window of tolerance, the autonomic response within your nervous system is to react impulsively, seeking momentary relief to the pain being felt at the time. In other words, your focus can turn from a long-term solution orientated way of thinking to a putting out the immediate fires approach to problem solving.
What does this mean for the purchaser and seller?
When consumers are impacted by scarcity, and are being sold through manipulative sales techniques, they are more inclined to purchase on impulse, with little consideration for the true value and impact the purchase is going to have on their life.
After the purchase the consumer might feel shame for not making the right decision and wasting their money, alternatively the salesperson may also feel shame for selling a product that they know will not fulfil the purchasers’ true needs. This may also lead the consumer to spreading negative feedback about the company or product as the momentary relief felt at the time of purchase is not prolonged by the use of the product itself.
So, what is the solution? How can you make sure you are purchasing or selling from a state of safety inside of your nervous system versus a state of scarcity?
Scarcity based marketing, sales and purchasing:
Profit above all else
Shame based and manipulating how people feel about themselves
Capitalistic principles embodied
Decreases the nervous systems window of tolerance, inhibiting cognitive functions
Trauma informed marketing, sales and purchasing:
Prioritises human connection and experience
Connection, choice and curiosity is encouraged
All action is taken from a deep awareness of self and others
Increases the nervous systems window of tolerance, promoting cognitive capabilities and intuitive decision making
The nervous system and scarcity/trauma
The missing piece of the puzzle for companies, organisations, salespeople and consumers is a scarcity/trauma informed awareness of what was happening inside of the nervous system during the entire transaction.
The nervous system is in many ways the centre control system for your body, controlling your thoughts, movements and autonomic responses. It is through your nervous system that you communicate both inwardly and outwardly with the world around you. Through your senses you take in information about your environment, which is then processed by your nervous system thereby triggering certain reactions inside of your body.
Understanding neuroception
The nervous system utilises a process called neuroception to determine if your environment including the people in it are either safe or dangerous. Neuroception is how your nervous system perceives the environment, by constantly scanning it for cues of safety or danger.
Based on your life experiences your nervous system creates a bank of evidence of memories which it has experienced through your senses and it uses these to constantly compare and contrast against what you are currently experiencing and through your sympathetic nervous system signals to your body that your current experience is either similarly safe or unsafe to previous experiences.
For example, if you were previously bullied by someone with a particular physique, and you come across someone with a similar physique either to sell or buy from your nervous system will commence the process of neuroception. This means it will start to process the information it is reading in the environment through your senses and will trigger your mind and body into thinking the situation is unsafe. This will most likely elicit a fight, flight, freeze of fawn response from you.
Examples of such responses include:
Fight – jumping to action, defending your position, purchasing something without fully engaging your full cognitive capabilities based on a momentary rush that it will solve your problem
Flight – avoiding situations, not engaging in solution oriented tasks out of fear of being hurt again, not able to listen fully, excusing yourself from the situation, not being able to express yourself properly
Freeze – not taking any action positive or negative, feeling like your body is shutting down and you do not have control over the situation
Fawn – people pleasing and agreeing to purchase something even though you know deep down you shouldn´t. Alternatively, it could mean agreeing to utilise sales techniques instructed by head office which do not feel authentic to you out of fear of being reprimanded for not towing the company line.
Managing Scarcity
So how can you manage scarcity and trauma responses either when purchasing or selling?
The good news is your nervous systems response to trauma or scarcity is adaptable and through brain and nervous system retraining you can expand your nervous systems window of tolerance/resiliency so that you are buying, selling and acting from a place of regulation rather than dysregulation.
Creating connection, being curious and seeking choice
Your nervous system is wired to seek out safety and connection in all scenarios in order to move from dysregulation to regulation. This desire to find connection is the first step in a trauma-informed purchasing and sales approach. Finding connection involves feeling connected with yourself, your environment and the product or service you are engaging with.
When we feel connection, we can then engage the second step which is to initiate compassionate curiosity and inquiry into what is really going on for you or the customer. What is the real pain point and from the other person's perspective, what problems do they currently have and how would they like those problems solved.
If you are the customer this step would involve having clarity on what problem you want solved and being curious through the questions you ask to make sure the product or service meets your needs.
Compassionate curiosity means both sides asking - ´What is the why of the buy?´ Are you buying to put out an immediate fire rather than solving the root cause of the issue, or are you selling to meet a sales target rather than desiring to sell something that would really benefit the customers life?
The third step is to seek out choice, rather than giving into the urgent pressure to buy within a shorter time frame, you make an informed decision having explored what else is available to you to help you with the problem you are trying to solve. This means rather than seeking a short-term quick fix, asking if there is a more sustainable solution available to you?
From a sales perspective when it comes to choice it means making sure the customer has the freedom of choice in the transaction and is not presenting an either-or scenario.
The benefits of a trauma-informed sale or purchase
When you adapt a trauma-informed approach to your selling and purchasing you will find yourself to be more adaptable, resilient, patient, innovative and collaborative. Rather than acting from a reduced window of tolerance you will feel more relaxed and confident in your actions.
Companies who sell from a trauma-informed perspective have higher retention rates and achieve greater levels of success in reaching their quarterly goals.
Customers on the other hand feel safe and connected to the product or services and are more likely to either repeat purchase or refer additional business.
Self-reflection – as a consumer
Think of the last five purchases you made, looking back ask yourself did you make these purchases from a place of safety or scarcity?
Did you feel pressure to purchase and what immediate problem (if any) did the purchase promise to solve?
If the product did not solve your problem, how are you feeling now about that purchase?
Do you feel shame, guilt, perhaps even more scarcity?
If you purchased from a feeling of scarcity or feeling unsafe in your nervous system what conditions related to the purchase made you feel unsafe? How can you be more aware of these conditions in the future?
With the information from the above questions, what different choice would you make about the purchase?
Make a list of what changes you can implement in the future using the connection, curiosity and choice steps outlined above?
Self-reflection – as a seller/business
If you work in sales, run a business involved in sales or manage a team responsible for sales, do you think you or your team would benefit from adapting a scarcity or trauma-informed approach to sales?
Make a list of ways you can connect more with yourself, your employees and your customers to make sure they feel safe and seen in the transaction?
How can you become compassionately curious about what your staff and customers are going through? How can you understand them and where they are right now better?
How can you offer more choice and space to them so that they feel safe to make the right decision for themselves?
What changes would you implement based on the information you have gathered to the above questions?
Retraining your brain and nervous system for success
There are many tools you can learn and implement to help you with retraining your brain and nervous system for success rather than scarcity. While mindfulness has enjoyed much popularity in recent years, moments of mindfulness are proven to be more effective when you can first bring yourself into a state of regulation or safety before practising mindfulness when taking action such as buying or selling.
Being in a state of regulation creates:
Better communication with others, your team, family and loved ones
Less micromanagement
Being able to listen in a way that people feel heard and seen
An ability to create, maintain and respect relationships with others
A deep sense of satisfaction and pleasure in all areas of your life
Being in a state of cool, calm, collected and connected more often
Being able to access your creative problem-solving abilities with ease
A greater sense of adaptability being able to deal with change in a way that feels safe
Marketing: Giving the customer what they want
When we consider the role the nervous system has to play I can't help but wonder how different we would all be consuming if we acted from a regulated state purchasing from companies who adopt a trauma-informed approach to business.
Perhaps we would be purchasing less, but purchasing better.
When we dare to reimagine how we would purchase or sell from a trauma-informed perspective we see potential and choice. We see how we can do more with less.
And that after all is what I as a consumer truly desire – to do more with less.
How about you?
