Balancing Incongruent Expectations: Navigating Women's Professional Identities

The result of this deeply male-dominated culture is that the male experience, the male perspective, has come to be seen as universal, while the female experience—that of half the global population, after all—is seen as, well, niche.
— Caroline Criado-Pérez

In today’s professional landscape, women often find themselves walking a tightrope, balancing contradictory traits and behaviours that can seem impossible to reconcile. Whether it’s the expectation to be both assertive and nurturing, or the demand to be ambitious yet modest, women must navigate a complex web of societal expectations, organisational culture, and deeply ingrained unconscious biases. These incongruences don't just challenge women on a superficial level; they affect how women perceive themselves, how they are perceived by others, and how they are able to perform and progress in their careers.

At the heart of these challenges is the multifaceted nature of identity. Women’s identities in professional settings are not just about gender; they are an intricate interplay of personal beliefs, values, social roles, cultural heritage, and professional personas. Each woman’s identity is shaped by her individual experiences, yet it is also constantly influenced and sometimes constrained by external forces. These forces include societal norms that dictate what behaviours are acceptable for women, organisational cultures that may uphold traditional gender roles, and unconscious biases that can lead to unfair judgments and expectations.

This tightrope walk creates a constant negotiation between different aspects of self. On one hand, women strive to maintain personal authenticity, staying true to their core values and beliefs. On the other hand, they must adapt their behaviour to meet the often conflicting demands of their professional environment. This can lead to feelings of being caught between two worlds—wanting to succeed in their careers while also dealing with the pressure to conform to societal expectations of femininity.

The complexity of these issues is further compounded by the presence of unconscious biases. These biases, often unrecognised, shape how women are viewed in the workplace. For example, a woman who displays strong leadership qualities may be judged more harshly than a man displaying the same traits because of the unconscious bias that associates leadership with masculinity. Similarly, a woman who expresses emotions at work may be seen as less professional, even though emotional intelligence is a valuable leadership skill. Organisational cultures often reinforce these biases, consciously or unconsciously, through practices that favour traditional gender roles. This can manifest in promotion practices, where women are passed over for leadership positions because they are seen as lacking the "right" leadership style, or in performance evaluations, where women are criticised for traits that are praised in men.

Navigating these incongruences requires women to develop a keen awareness of both their own identities and the external pressures they face. It also requires them to adopt strategies that allow them to balance these conflicting demands. This might include developing adaptive leadership skills, where women learn to adjust their behaviour based on the context while still maintaining their core identity. It might also involve seeking out mentorship and building support networks that provide guidance and reinforcement as women navigate these challenges.

Navigating incongruent personality traits and behaviours is a complex and ongoing process for women in the professional world. It involves a delicate balance between personal authenticity and societal expectations, all while contending with the powerful forces of organisational culture and unconscious bias. However, by adopting effective strategies and fostering supportive environments, women can successfully navigate these challenges, paving the way for more inclusive and equitable professional spaces. The journey toward reconciling these incongruences is not just about individual achievement, but about creating a culture where diverse identities are celebrated and everyone has the opportunity to thrive.

The Complexity of Identity

Identity is a complex and dynamic construct that goes far beyond a simple label or category. It encompasses a wide range of personal beliefs, values, social roles, and professional personas, all of which interact in complex ways to shape an individual’s experience in the world. For women in professional settings, the concept of identity is particularly intricate, involving a continuous and often challenging negotiation between various aspects of self. These aspects include gender, race, socioeconomic background, cultural heritage, sexual orientation, and personal experiences, all of which converge to influence how women perceive themselves and are perceived by others in the workplace.

Identity as a Multidimensional Construct

At its core, identity is multidimensional. It is not a static entity but a fluid and evolving set of characteristics and experiences that define who we are at any given moment. For women, identity is influenced by internal factors such as personal beliefs and values, as well as external factors like societal expectations, cultural norms, and the organisational environment. This complexity means that identity is not simply about how one sees oneself but also about how one is seen by others and how one navigates the expectations and judgments imposed by the external world.

  • Gender and Identity: Gender is a fundamental aspect of identity that significantly shapes how women experience their professional lives. From a young age, women are often socialised into specific gender roles, which dictate acceptable behaviours, traits, and aspirations. These roles can create internal conflicts when women enter the professional world, where different, and sometimes conflicting, expectations may be placed upon them. For example, women might feel pressured to embody traditionally feminine qualities such as nurturing and empathy, while also being expected to display traits typically associated with leadership, such as assertiveness and decisiveness. This dual expectation can lead to a complex interplay between personal identity and professional expectations, forcing women to continuously adapt and negotiate their behaviours to fit various contexts.

  • Race, Ethnicity, and Cultural Heritage: Race, ethnicity, and cultural heritage add additional layers of complexity to the identity of women in professional settings. Women of different racial and ethnic backgrounds often face unique challenges that intersect with gender, creating what is known as intersectionality. For instance, a woman of colour may not only have to navigate the expectations placed on her as a woman but also contend with racial biases and stereotypes that influence how she is perceived and treated in the workplace. Cultural heritage can also play a crucial role, as women may bring different cultural norms and values into their professional environments, which may or may not align with the dominant culture of their workplace. This can lead to a sense of being "othered" or feeling the need to suppress certain aspects of one’s identity to fit in.

  • Socioeconomic Background and Professional Identity: Socioeconomic background is another critical component of identity that influences professional experiences. Women from different socioeconomic backgrounds may face varying levels of access to education, professional networks, and opportunities for career advancement. These disparities can shape how women approach their careers, the strategies they employ to succeed, and the challenges they encounter along the way. For example, a woman from a lower socioeconomic background might have to overcome additional barriers such as limited access to higher education or professional mentorship, while also managing the pressures of financial insecurity. This aspect of identity can influence how women interact with colleagues, negotiate salaries, and seek promotions.

  • Professional Personas and the Mask of Identity: In professional settings, women often develop what can be described as a "professional persona"—a version of themselves tailored to fit the demands and expectations of their work environment. This persona is a carefully curated aspect of identity that may emphasise certain traits or downplay others, depending on what is perceived as necessary for success. For instance, a woman might adopt a more assertive or authoritative tone in leadership meetings, while projecting empathy and collaboration in team settings. This ability to shift between different aspects of identity is both a strength and a challenge, as it requires constant self-awareness and adaptability. However, the need to maintain a professional persona that aligns with external expectations can sometimes lead to feelings of inauthenticity or identity fragmentation, where women feel disconnected from their true selves.

  • Continuous Negotiation and Identity Fluidity: For women, identity is not a fixed or static concept but rather a continuous process of negotiation. This negotiation occurs both internally—within one’s mind and emotions—and externally, in interactions with others and the broader organisational culture. Women are often required to navigate multiple identities simultaneously, balancing their values with professional demands, and reconciling societal expectations with their aspirations. This fluidity of identity means that women must constantly adapt, redefining themselves in response to changing circumstances and expectations. It also means that identity can be a source of strength and resilience, as women draw on different aspects of themselves to navigate the complexities of their professional lives.

The Impact of Identity on Behaviour

The various elements of identity—gender, race, cultural heritage, socioeconomic background, and professional personas—collectively shape behaviours in significant ways. Identity influences how women interact with colleagues, lead teams, and make decisions. It affects how they communicate, how they assert themselves, and how they balance professional and personal roles. For example, a woman who identifies strongly with her cultural heritage may bring a unique perspective to her work, valuing collaboration and community over competition. Conversely, a woman who has faced economic hardship may exhibit a strong drive and work ethic, using her background as motivation to achieve professional success.

However, the impact of identity on behaviour is also shaped by external perceptions and biases. Women’s behaviours are often scrutinised through the lens of their perceived identities, leading to judgments that can reinforce or challenge stereotypes. For instance, a woman who displays confidence and assertiveness in a leadership role may be praised for her leadership qualities or criticised for being too aggressive, depending on the biases of those observing her. This highlights the importance of self-awareness and strategic navigation of identity in professional settings.

The complexity of identity for women in professional settings cannot be overstated. It is a multifaceted and dynamic construct that requires continuous negotiation between various aspects of self, including gender, race, socioeconomic background, and cultural heritage. These elements of identity profoundly shape behaviours, influencing how women interact, lead, and navigate their professional environments. Understanding and embracing this complexity is crucial for women as they strive to balance personal authenticity with professional success. It is also essential for organisations to recognise and support the diverse identities of women, creating environments where all aspects of identity can be expressed and valued, leading to more inclusive and equitable workplaces.

Unconscious Bias and the Dichotomy of Women's Identities

Unconscious biases play a significant role in shaping the professional experiences of women, particularly by creating and perpetuating the incongruent expectations placed upon them. These biases, often hidden beneath the surface of conscious awareness, influence how women are perceived, judged, and treated in the workplace. They can lead to a range of challenges, from the subtle undermining of women’s authority to the blatant double standards that hold women to different behavioural expectations than their male counterparts. Understanding and addressing these biases is crucial for navigating the complex dichotomy within which women's identities exist, where they are often required to embody conflicting traits and behaviours.

Understanding Unconscious Bias

Unconscious bias, also known as implicit bias, refers to the automatic, often unintentional, associations or attitudes that influence our understanding, actions, and decisions. Unlike explicit biases, which are deliberate and consciously held, unconscious biases operate below the level of conscious awareness, making them more difficult to detect and address. These biases are not necessarily rooted in overt prejudice but are shaped by a lifetime of exposure to cultural norms, media representations, societal stereotypes, and personal experiences.

In the workplace, unconscious biases can manifest in various ways, affecting how women are evaluated, promoted, and treated by their colleagues and superiors. These biases contribute to the creation of different standards and expectations for men and women, often leading to incongruent demands on women’s behaviour and performance. For example, a woman who is assertive in expressing her ideas may be perceived as aggressive or domineering, while a man exhibiting the same behaviour might be seen as confident and strong. Similarly, a woman who displays emotional intelligence by expressing empathy and understanding may be seen as lacking authority, whereas a man who does the same might be praised for his leadership qualities.

The Subtle Manifestation of Unconscious Bias

Unconscious biases often manifest in subtle, yet impactful, ways. These biases can influence everyday interactions, decision-making processes, and even organisational policies. For example:

  • Performance Evaluations: Women may receive different feedback than men during performance evaluations due to unconscious biases. A woman who takes charge and leads a project successfully might be told she needs to be more collaborative, while a man might be praised for his leadership skills. Similarly, women may be more likely to receive feedback focused on their communication style or interpersonal skills rather than on their technical abilities or strategic thinking.

  • Hiring and Promotion Decisions: Unconscious biases can affect hiring and promotion decisions, leading to a preference for candidates who fit traditional gender norms. Women may be passed over for leadership roles if they do not conform to stereotypical expectations of how a leader should look and behave. This can result in women being deemed "not leadership material" if they are perceived as too soft, or too harsh.

  • Daily Interactions: In daily workplace interactions, unconscious biases can lead to women’s contributions being overlooked or undervalued. For instance, women might be interrupted more frequently in meetings, or their ideas might be attributed to male colleagues. This phenomenon, known as "hepeating," occurs when a woman's idea is ignored until it is repeated by a man, who then receives credit for it.

  • Microaggressions: Unconscious biases can also result in microaggressions—subtle, often unintentional, comments or actions that reinforce stereotypes and marginalise women. Examples include assuming a woman is less competent in technical fields, questioning her commitment to work due to family responsibilities, or making assumptions about her emotional state.

The Dichotomy of Women's Identities

The presence of unconscious biases creates a dichotomy in how women’s identities are perceived and how they are expected to behave. This dichotomy often requires women to navigate conflicting demands, where they are expected to exhibit traits that are traditionally associated with femininity, such as warmth and empathy, while also displaying qualities typically linked to leadership, such as assertiveness and decisiveness. The challenge lies in the fact that these traits are often seen as mutually exclusive, forcing women to walk a fine line in their professional behaviour.

For example, a woman who is assertive and takes charge in a leadership role may be seen as violating the norms of expected feminine behaviour, leading to negative perceptions of her personality or leadership style. On the other hand, if she leans too heavily into traditional feminine traits, she may be perceived as lacking the necessary toughness or authority to lead effectively. This dichotomy places women in a "double bind," where they are criticised no matter which approach they take.

This dichotomy is further complicated by intersectionality, where the overlapping of multiple identities—such as race, ethnicity, class, and sexuality—can compound the effects of unconscious biases. Women of color, for example, may face additional stereotypes that affect how their identities are perceived and how they are expected to behave in the workplace. They may encounter a unique set of biases that influence not only their professional trajectory but also their sense of belonging and authenticity within their professional environment.

The Importance of Awareness and Action

Awareness of unconscious bias is the first step toward addressing the dichotomy within which women's identities exist. By recognising that these biases influence how women are perceived and treated, organisations and individuals can begin to take steps to mitigate their impact. This involves actively challenging stereotypes, questioning assumptions, and creating spaces where diverse expressions of identity are valued and respected.

Organisations can implement unconscious bias training to help employees recognise and counteract their biases. These training sessions can raise awareness about how biases manifest and provide strategies for minimising their influence in decision-making processes. Additionally, organisations can adopt more objective criteria for performance evaluations, promotions, and hiring decisions, ensuring that women are evaluated based on their abilities and contributions rather than on biased perceptions.

At an individual level, women can become more aware of the biases they might encounter and develop strategies for navigating them. This might involve seeking out mentors and allies who can offer support and advocacy, as well as honing skills in areas like negotiation, communication, and leadership that can help counteract the effects of bias. It also involves maintaining a strong sense of self-awareness and authenticity, allowing women to stay true to their core identities while navigating the demands of their professional environment.

Unconscious bias plays a profound role in shaping the professional experiences of women, contributing to the dichotomy of expectations they must navigate. These biases, while often subtle and unintentional, have significant consequences for how women are perceived, judged, and treated in the workplace. Understanding and addressing these biases is essential for creating a more equitable professional environment where women can thrive without having to constantly balance conflicting demands on their identity.

By raising awareness of unconscious biases and implementing strategies to mitigate their impact, both individuals and organisations can work towards dismantling the dichotomies that constrain women's identities. This will lead to a more inclusive workplace where women are free to express the full range of their talents and abilities, ultimately benefiting not only the women themselves but also the organisations they contribute to.

Incongruent Personality Traits and Behaviours

In professional settings, women often face a unique set of conflicting expectations that can create significant challenges in how they navigate their careers. These incongruences, driven by societal norms and unconscious biases, can force women to walk a fine line between opposing traits. Below, we explore seven key areas where these incongruences manifest, highlighting how they influence women's experiences in the workplace.

  • Assertiveness vs. Approachability: Research from Catalyst, a global nonprofit organisation, reveals a stark gender bias in how assertiveness is perceived. While assertive male leaders are often described as "confident" and "strong," their female counterparts are more likely to be labelled "bossy" or "abrasive." This disparity highlights a critical incongruence in the workplace. Example: When a woman frequently takes charge in discussions and makes firm decisions, she may be seen as assertive. However, this same assertiveness might lead colleagues to view her as unapproachable or intimidating, which could cause team members to hesitate in voicing concerns or sharing ideas.

  • Competence vs. Likeability: The incongruence between competence and likeability is well-documented, particularly in male-dominated fields. Research by Heilman and Okimoto (2007) shows that highly competent women often face a backlash, being perceived as less likeable than equally competent men. This dichotomy underscores the challenges women face in balancing professional respect with social acceptance. Example: A woman who consistently demonstrates high levels of competence and successfully tackles challenging tasks might be respected for her abilities. However, this could also lead to perceptions of her being overly competitive or difficult to work with, potentially harming her social interactions and overall likeability among colleagues.

  • Ambition vs. Modesty: The "double-bind" dilemma, as described by Catalyst (2007), highlights the conflicting expectations surrounding women's ambition. Ambitious women are often seen as aggressive and unlikeable, whereas modest women may be perceived as less competent. This creates a challenging dynamic where women must carefully navigate their career aspirations. Example: A woman who openly expresses her ambition and actively seeks opportunities for advancement may be seen as driven and goal-oriented. Yet, this same ambition might attract criticism for a perceived lack of modesty, with some viewing her as aggressive or self-centred.

  • Emotional Expression vs. Emotional Regulation: Unconscious biases about gender and professionalism significantly impact how emotional expression is perceived in the workplace. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology (2016) found that women who express emotions like frustration or sadness are judged more harshly than men displaying the same emotions. This creates a clear incongruence where women are expected to regulate their emotions more strictly. Example: In a high-pressure work environment, a woman who provides emotional support to her team and displays empathy is often valued for her emotional intelligence. However, if she expresses her own frustration or stress, she might be perceived as emotionally unstable or unprofessional, unlike her male counterparts who may exhibit similar behaviours without facing the same scrutiny.

  • Decisiveness vs. Consensus-Building: According to research by the Harvard Business Review (2013), women leaders who make decisive decisions without seeking consensus are often viewed as autocratic, while men exhibiting the same behaviour are seen as effective leaders. This highlights the incongruence between decisiveness and the expectation for women to build consensus. Example: In a leadership role, a woman who makes quick, decisive calls during crises may be respected for her ability to navigate challenges efficiently. However, if she does not seek input from her team, she risks being seen as overly authoritative or not inclusive, potentially alienating team members who value a more collaborative approach.

  • Distant vs. Approachable: Women in leadership positions face the challenge of balancing professionalism with approachability. While maintaining a certain level of distance can help establish authority and respect, it can also be misinterpreted as aloofness. Example: A woman in a senior role might maintain a professional distance to assert her authority. However, this distance could be misinterpreted as being unapproachable, making it difficult for team members to bring forward concerns or ideas. Conversely, if she is too approachable, she might struggle to maintain the level of authority expected in her position.

  • Demanding vs. Caring: Women leaders are often expected to be demanding to ensure high performance, yet they are also expected to show care and consideration for their team’s well-being. Balancing these expectations can be particularly challenging, as leaning too far in either direction can lead to criticism. Example: A woman who sets high standards and pushes her team to achieve demanding goals may be seen as a strong and effective leader. However, if she fails to balance this with a caring attitude that acknowledges and supports her team’s needs, she may be perceived as harsh or insensitive. Conversely, if she is overly caring, she might be viewed as lenient or not serious about achieving targets.

The incongruent expectations placed on women in the workplace create a complex and often frustrating dynamic that can hinder professional growth and personal fulfilment. These conflicting demands require women to constantly navigate a delicate balance, often at the cost of their authenticity and well-being. By recognising and addressing these incongruences, both individuals and organisations can work towards creating a more equitable and inclusive professional environment where women can thrive without the burden of contradictory expectations.

Strategies for Navigating Incongruences

Given the complex and often contradictory expectations placed on them, women have developed various strategies to navigate the incongruences they encounter in the workplace. These strategies not only help women manage their professional identities effectively but also empower them to thrive in environments that may not always be accommodating. Below are key strategies that women often employ to address these challenges:

  • Contextual Adaptation: One effective strategy is contextual adaptation, where women tailor their behaviour and communication style based on the specific audience or situation. This approach allows women to navigate different professional contexts while balancing the demands of various stakeholders. In Practice: In a meeting with higher-level executives, a woman might emphasise assertiveness to demonstrate leadership and decisiveness. However, in a team discussion, she might adopt a more collaborative and inclusive tone to foster teamwork and encourage input from all members. This flexibility enables her to meet the expectations of each context without compromising her overall effectiveness.

  • Mentorship and Support Networks: Building strong mentorship and support networks is another vital strategy. By connecting with other women who have faced similar challenges, women can gain valuable insights, advice, and encouragement that help them navigate their professional journeys. In Practice: Joining professional groups focused on women’s leadership or seeking out mentors who have successfully navigated the same challenges can provide essential guidance and support. These networks offer a space to share experiences, learn from others, and develop strategies for overcoming obstacles. Moreover, mentors can advocate for women within the organisation, helping to counteract the effects of unconscious bias.

  • Authenticity and Self-Awareness: Maintaining authenticity and developing self-awareness are crucial for women striving to balance conflicting expectations while remaining true to themselves. Understanding one’s own values, strengths, and limitations allows women to build a professional identity that feels genuine and sustainable. In Practice: By regularly reflecting on their core values and personal goals, women can align their professional behaviours with their authentic selves. This self-awareness helps them make decisions that are consistent with their beliefs, reducing the stress and tension that can arise from trying to meet external expectations that don’t align with their true identity.

  • Adaptive Leadership: Adaptive leadership involves the ability to switch between different behaviours and traits depending on the situation, while still maintaining a consistent sense of self. This approach allows women to navigate the varying demands of leadership without losing sight of their core identity. In Practice: A woman who has mastered adaptive leadership might be able to assert authority when necessary, yet also know when to step back and allow others to lead. This adaptability not only enhances her effectiveness as a leader but also helps her manage the incongruent expectations that often come with leadership roles. By being flexible yet grounded in her identity, she can lead with confidence and resilience.

  • Advocacy and Policy Change: Beyond individual strategies, advocacy for broader organisational and policy changes is essential for creating environments where women can succeed without being constrained by traditional gender norms. Promoting diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives within organisations can help alleviate the pressures associated with these incongruences. In Practice: Women can advocate for policies that support work-life balance, such as flexible working arrangements, parental leave, and transparent promotion practices. Additionally, pushing for unconscious bias training and diversity initiatives can help shift organisational culture towards one that values and supports diverse identities. By leading or participating in these efforts, women contribute to creating a more inclusive workplace where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.

The strategies outlined above empower women to navigate the complex landscape of conflicting expectations and behaviours in the workplace. By adapting their communication styles, building supportive networks, maintaining authenticity, developing adaptive leadership skills, and advocating for policy change, women can manage these incongruences effectively. These strategies not only help women succeed in their careers but also contribute to broader cultural shifts towards more inclusive and equitable professional environments.

Journal Prompts and Reflections

These prompts are designed to encourage deep reflection on the complexities of identity, unconscious bias, and the strategies women use to navigate professional environments. They can help you explore your experiences, understand the impact of these challenges on your professional life, and identify ways to move forward with confidence and authenticity.

  • Reflecting on Identity and Professionalism: How do the different aspects of your identity (e.g., gender, race, cultural background) influence your behaviour in the workplace? Are there times when you feel you have to suppress or highlight certain aspects of your identity to fit in or succeed professionally?

  • Navigating Conflicting Expectations: Can you recall a time when you felt torn between being assertive and approachable at work? How did you navigate this situation? What were the outcomes, and how did it affect your perception of yourself and others’ perceptions of you?

  • Dealing with Unconscious Bias: Have you ever experienced or witnessed unconscious bias in your workplace? How did it manifest, and what impact did it have on your or others' professional experience? How can you address or counteract unconscious bias in your behaviour or within your organisation?

  • Developing Adaptive Leadership: Think about a leadership role you have taken on, either formally or informally. How did you balance being decisive with being inclusive? Reflect on a specific situation where you had to adapt your leadership style to meet the needs of your team or organisation.

  • Building Support Networks: Who are the mentors or supporters in your professional life? How have they helped you navigate the challenges of your career? Reflect on a time when a mentor or a professional group provided crucial guidance or support.

  • Maintaining Authenticity: How do you stay true to your personal values and beliefs in a professional setting? Write about a situation where you felt your authenticity was challenged. How did you respond, and what did you learn from the experience?

  • Advocating for Change: What changes would you like to see in your workplace to make it more inclusive and supportive of diverse identities? Reflect on ways you can advocate for these changes, either individually or collectively with others.

  • Balancing Ambition and Modesty: How do you balance your ambitions with societal expectations of modesty? Reflect on a time when you were ambitious in pursuing a goal—did you feel the need to downplay your efforts? How did this affect your progress and self-esteem?

  • Emotional Expression and Professionalism: Reflect on how you express emotions in the workplace. Do you feel there are times when you have to regulate your emotions more strictly than your male counterparts? How do you manage your emotional well-being while maintaining professionalism?

  • Reflecting on Personal Growth: Throughout your career, how have you grown in your ability to navigate incongruent expectations? Reflect on specific strategies or experiences that have helped you manage these challenges effectively.

Conclusion: Navigating the Unseen Barriers

Navigating incongruent personality traits and behaviours in professional settings is an intricate and ongoing challenge for women. It requires a delicate balance between maintaining personal authenticity and meeting societal expectations, all while continuously negotiating the various facets of one's identity. This balancing act is further complicated by unconscious biases, which subtly but powerfully shape the perceptions and expectations placed on women in the workplace. These biases can manifest in numerous ways, from the language used to describe women in leadership roles to the differing standards applied to their performance compared to their male counterparts.

The impact of these incongruences is not merely academic or theoretical; it directly affects women's day-to-day experiences, their career progression, and their overall well-being. Women are often forced to navigate a tightrope, where they must be assertive but not too assertive, competent but still likeable, ambitious but modest, and decisive yet collaborative. Each of these conflicting expectations creates a complex web of challenges that can hinder professional advancement and personal satisfaction.

However, these challenges are not insurmountable. By employing strategies such as embracing authenticity, developing adaptive leadership skills, building strong support networks, and advocating for policy changes within their organisations, women can effectively navigate these incongruences. Authenticity allows women to stay true to their values and beliefs, providing a foundation of confidence and integrity in their professional lives. Adaptive leadership enables women to adjust their approach based on context, ensuring that they can lead effectively while still honouring their identity. Support networks, including mentors, peers, and professional groups, offer crucial guidance, encouragement, and advocacy, helping women to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. Additionally, advocating for policy changes, such as implementing flexible work arrangements and promoting diversity and inclusion initiatives, can help to create environments that are more accommodating of diverse identities and less reliant on outdated gender norms.

Ultimately, the journey toward reconciling these incongruences is not just about individual success. It is about fostering a broader cultural shift within organisations and society at large, where diverse identities are celebrated and valued. This cultural shift is essential for creating professional environments that are truly inclusive, where women and all individuals can express their full range of traits and capabilities without fear of negative judgment or limitation.

Identity plays a significant role in shaping our behaviours, influencing how we present ourselves and interact in professional settings. For women, this often means balancing competing traits and expectations, continuously adapting to maintain both personal authenticity and professional effectiveness. This constant adaptation, while challenging, can also be empowering, as it allows women to develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their potential.

Through strategic navigation, increased awareness of unconscious biases, and the support of inclusive environments, women can overcome these challenges, paving the way for a more diverse and inclusive workplace. Such workplaces not only benefit women but also contribute to the overall success and innovation of organisations by harnessing the full range of talents and perspectives that diverse identities bring. In the end, the goal is to move beyond merely managing incongruences to creating a professional landscape where everyone can thrive authentically and equitably, leading to richer, more dynamic, and more successful organisations.

Recommended reading:

This list provides a well-rounded selection of books that address the challenges women face in balancing personal authenticity with professional expectations, overcoming unconscious biases, and developing strategies to succeed in their careers. Each book offers valuable insights and practical advice for navigating the complexities of modern professional life as a woman.

"The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know" by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. This book explores the role of confidence in women’s professional lives, examining why women often struggle with self-assurance and how they can build the confidence needed to succeed. It ties directly into the themes of navigating incongruent expectations and behaviours in the workplace.

"Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men" by Caroline Criado Perez. This book provides a deep dive into how systemic gender biases impact women's lives, including in the workplace. It offers a thorough examination of how these biases create challenges for women and underscores the importance of understanding and addressing unconscious biases.

"Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead" by Tara Mohr. Mohr’s book offers a roadmap for women who want to step into leadership roles and make their voices heard. It tackles the internal barriers that often hold women back and provides strategies for overcoming these challenges while staying true to one's authentic self.

"What Works for Women at Work: Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know" by Joan C. Williams and Rachel Dempsey. This book identifies and analyses four key patterns of gender bias that women face in the workplace. It provides practical strategies for dealing with these biases and is a valuable resource for understanding how to navigate and overcome the challenges of professional life.

"Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone" by Brené Brown. While not exclusively about the workplace, this book by Brené Brown explores the importance of authenticity and the courage to stand alone in the face of societal pressures. It’s a powerful resource for understanding how to maintain personal integrity and authenticity in environments where you may feel pressured to conform.

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Ann Smyth

Ann Smyth, a Certified Life and Leadership Coach, specialises in guiding individuals through transformative journeys. Using a unique blend of Human Design, brain and nervous system retraining, she approaches her coaching practice with a trauma-informed perspective. Ann's mission is to reignite her clients' passion for life, fostering a deep love for their own existence.

Her expertise is particularly valuable for executives and professionals who have achieved professional success, yet find themselves dealing with significant stress, burnout, or regret about how they are living their lives and spending their most valuable asset—their time. Through her "Design A Life You Love Philosophy," Ann empowers these individuals to reclaim control over their life, work, and leisure, ultimately leading them to a more sustainable and intentional way of living.

Clients who embrace the "Design a Life You Love" philosophy experience a newfound sense of peace in their lives, enjoying contentment and ease across all facets of their lives. Ann Smyth's coaching is the key to unlocking the full potential of your life and leadership journey.

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