Labels Are Not Identity: Expanding Beyond the Boxes We Are Given
“It’s all about communication and a dialogue between individuals - get rid of the labels, get rid of the shame, get rid of the stigmas and just be your most authentic self.”
Imagine being told your entire life that you are shy, not a maths person, or too sensitive. Over time, these labels shape how you see yourself, limiting your potential and confining you to a box you never chose to inhabit. What begins as an offhand remark—perhaps from a parent, teacher, or peer—can solidify into an internalised belief, subtly dictating the choices you make, the risks you take, and even the way you interpret your own experiences. Labels, when reinforced repeatedly, do not just describe us; they define us—until we consciously challenge them.
We live in a world that thrives on classification. Labels offer a sense of clarity and order, helping us make sense of ourselves and others. They serve as cognitive shortcuts, enabling the brain to quickly categorise and predict behaviour. From personality types and job titles to psychological diagnoses and social identities, these classifications provide structure and a shared language for understanding the human experience. Systems such as human design, the Enneagram, and even traditional psychological frameworks offer valuable tools for self-reflection, helping individuals recognise their patterns, strengths, and areas for growth. However, when labels are mistaken for identity, they become constraints rather than guides.
Labels are not inherently negative. When used appropriately, they can offer a sense of validation. Understanding one’s human design type, for instance, can provide insight into energy dynamics and decision-making strategies, just as recognising neurodivergent traits can empower individuals to seek appropriate support and self-accommodation. However, the problem arises when these labels shift from being descriptive to prescriptive—when they move from being a framework for understanding to a rigid structure that dictates what we can or cannot do.
Psychological research demonstrates that identity is not fixed but dynamic, shaped through experience, belief, and the brain’s ability to rewire itself—a concept known as neuroplasticity. The more we repeat certain narratives about ourselves, the stronger the neural pathways associated with those beliefs become. Someone who constantly tells themselves they are not a confident person strengthens the neural circuitry reinforcing that self-image, making it even harder to break free from that pattern. Conversely, when we challenge limiting narratives through cognitive reframing, we actively reshape our self-concept and create new pathways for self-expansion. This aligns with the principles of identity transformation and neuroplasticity, which show how intentional effort can shift brain function and self-perception.
Moreover, over-attachment to identity weakens our ability to handle life’s complexities. When we become too rigid in our self-definitions, we risk isolating ourselves from experiences that contradict our perceived identity. An individual who sees themselves as not a leader may shy away from professional opportunities that require initiative, not because they lack the capability, but because the label has become a self-imposed limitation. Similarly, someone who identifies as too emotional might suppress their natural empathy, fearing that it will be perceived as a weakness rather than an asset. Yet, research on sturdy leadership suggests that true strength comes not from rigid self-definitions but from expanding one’s capacity rather than remaining confined by a label.
True self-leadership does not mean clinging to an identity but building the capacity to navigate reality as it unfolds. Life does not conform to our carefully crafted self-definitions, and our ability to adapt, grow, and reframe our experiences is what ultimately determines our resilience. This article will explore why labels are not identity, how they can limit growth and reinforce dysfunction, and how a top-down approach—using cognitive reframing—allows us to redefine who we are beyond categorisation.
Next, we will examine why the human brain is wired to categorise and how this tendency, while useful, can also be limiting when it comes to identity.
The Brain’s Need for Labels: A Neurological Perspective
The human brain is a predictive organ, constantly seeking to make sense of the world by categorising information. It relies on patterns and associations, using past experiences to interpret new situations. This predictive nature helps us navigate everyday life with efficiency, allowing us to anticipate outcomes, make quick decisions, and interact with the world in a structured way. Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett (2017) explains that the brain does not passively receive information from the outside world; rather, it constructs reality through a process of prediction, adjusting these predictions based on incoming sensory data. Labels, therefore, serve a fundamental cognitive function by helping the brain create meaning and maintain stability.
This process, known as bottom-up processing, enables us to organise incoming stimuli into familiar categories. By grouping similar experiences, the brain reduces cognitive load, making it easier to interact with complex environments. Without this mechanism, every situation would be experienced as entirely new, requiring enormous amounts of mental energy to interpret. Labels offer a shortcut, allowing us to quickly assess whether something is safe or dangerous, familiar or unfamiliar, relevant or irrelevant. This can be seen in the way identity-based frameworks such as human design help people understand themselves. However, while these frameworks can be insightful, they should not become rigid definitions that prevent self-expansion.
However, this same mechanism can be limiting. While categorisation is a useful tool for navigating the world, it can also lead to rigidity in thought and behaviour. Once a label is assigned—whether to an experience, a behaviour, or an aspect of identity—the brain tends to reinforce it through confirmation bias. This means that we selectively seek out information that supports the label while disregarding evidence that contradicts it (Nickerson, 1998). Over time, this can create self-fulfilling prophecies, where individuals unconsciously align their behaviours with their labels, even when those labels no longer serve them. This is particularly relevant in identity transformation and neuroplasticity, where repeated thoughts and actions shape neural pathways, reinforcing or reshaping a person's sense of self.
For example, a person diagnosed with ADHD may internalise the belief that they are inherently bad at focus. If this belief goes unchallenged, they may avoid situations that require sustained attention, disengage from tasks prematurely, or assume that focus is an innate trait they lack rather than a skill they can develop. In reality, neuroplasticity research shows that the brain is adaptable, and with the right cognitive strategies, environmental adjustments, and structured interventions, individuals with ADHD can significantly improve their executive function (Doidge, 2007). However, the presence of a label—especially when reinforced repeatedly—can shift the focus from what is possible to what is assumed to be fixed.
This same process applies to identity labels of all kinds. Someone who has been told repeatedly that they are not a leader may avoid leadership roles, not because they lack the ability, but because their brain has wired them to believe that such roles are incompatible with who they are. Similarly, a person labelled as too sensitive may suppress their emotional responses rather than seeing sensitivity as a strength in emotional intelligence and relational depth. The key to breaking free from these limitations is shifting from a bottom-up approach—where we react to labels imposed upon us—to a top-down approach, where we actively reframe our self-perception.
This shift is particularly important in sturdy leadership and personal capacity-building, as rigid identity labels often prevent individuals from expanding their resilience and ability to handle complexity. By re-examining the stories we tell ourselves, we allow for a more expansive and adaptable sense of self—one that is not confined by past narratives but shaped by the choices we make in the present.
Next, we will examine how labels, when taken too literally, move from being descriptive to prescriptive—shaping not only how we see ourselves but also what we believe is possible for our growth and development.
The Problem with Labels: From Descriptive to Prescriptive
While labels help us make sense of the world, they can also trap us in rigid patterns of thinking. They provide structure, but when overused or misapplied, they limit rather than liberate. The brain’s tendency to categorise is meant to create efficiency, yet when labels become deeply ingrained, they can foster over-identification, where individuals mistake these categories for their true identity. Instead of offering insight and self-awareness, labels can become walls, defining what we believe we are capable of and reinforcing behaviours that might otherwise evolve.
One of the most common ways this occurs is through the justification of dysfunction. Labels, once internalised, can act as unconscious permission slips for maintaining limiting patterns. In systems like human design, for instance, people often fall into the trap of rigidly adhering to their “type” rather than using it as a tool for exploration. A Manifestor who believes they are meant only to initiate may assume they lack the ability to sustain long-term projects, avoiding responsibilities that require persistence. A Projector, conditioned to believe they must “wait for an invitation,” may become hesitant to express their ideas, missing opportunities to share their insights in meaningful ways. These interpretations, while rooted in some truths about energetic tendencies, are not fixed laws but rather flexible frameworks that should evolve alongside the individual. This is why understanding how to integrate human design for personal and professional fulfilment is critical—it should be a tool for self-expansion rather than self-limitation.
A similar phenomenon occurs in psychological diagnoses. While conditions such as anxiety, ADHD, or depression offer important context for understanding patterns of thought and behaviour, they should not be mistaken for permanent states of being. The moment someone says, “I have social anxiety, so I can’t speak in public,” they shift from recognising a challenge to reinforcing a limitation. Research in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) has demonstrated that avoidance strengthens neural pathways associated with fear, making the behaviour even harder to unlearn (Hofmann et al., 2012). Conversely, gradual exposure and reframing allow the brain to reshape these pathways, proving that identity is not static but responsive to effort and intervention.
This distinction is essential. Labels describe tendencies, not destinies. The brain is adaptable, continuously shaped by the narratives we reinforce and the choices we make. Understanding this allows for a more fluid sense of identity—one that accommodates change, growth, and complexity rather than being confined by external definitions. This perspective is especially relevant in the context of identity-based habits, where repeated behaviours shape who we become, reinforcing the importance of consciously designing the self we wish to embody.
Building Capacity: Why Identity Should Be Expansive, Not Restrictive
When we attach too much significance to our identity, we risk avoiding situations that challenge or contradict it, even when those situations are essential for growth. The labels we internalise can become psychological barriers, shaping what we believe we are capable of and influencing the choices we make. While identity provides a sense of self-understanding and continuity, over-identification can lead to rigidity, reducing our ability to navigate the unpredictability of life.
Avoidance is one of the most common consequences of a rigid identity. A person who strongly identifies as an introvert may refuse to engage in public speaking or networking, believing these activities are simply not who they are. However, by consistently avoiding them, they never develop the skills necessary to handle such situations, reinforcing a cycle of limitation. Similarly, someone who sees themselves as not a leader may instinctively step back in professional settings, not because they lack leadership potential, but because they have conditioned themselves to believe that leadership does not align with their identity. This avoidance does not protect them—it weakens their capacity to engage with life fully, limiting both personal and professional growth.
In a world that is constantly changing, the ability to adapt is one of the most important skills a person can cultivate. However, adaptation does not happen in a vacuum—it requires an intentional shift from seeing identity as a fixed trait to seeing it as a set of evolving capacities. This is why sturdy self-leadership is essential. True self-leadership is not about rigidly adhering to a specific identity but about developing the ability to meet life as it comes, rather than filtering experiences through preconceived labels. It requires an internal shift—from asking, does this align with my identity? to how can I develop the capacity to handle this? This is the foundation of sturdy self-leadership, which allows us to remain steady in the face of challenges without becoming constrained by identity-based narratives.
A person who builds capacity does not let labels dictate what they can or cannot do. They engage with new situations, recognising that discomfort is a sign of growth, not failure. Someone who has always believed they are bad with money might start by developing small financial habits, slowly reshaping their confidence in this area. A person who thinks they lack discipline may experiment with structured routines, proving to themselves that discipline is not an inherent trait but a skill that can be strengthened. These shifts are not about denying personal tendencies but about expanding beyond them, creating a more dynamic and adaptable self.
This mindset is at the core of conscious leadership—the ability to manage one's own energy, rather than becoming constrained by an identity that was formed under different circumstances. When we stop seeing identity as a label and start seeing it as a process, we open up new possibilities for growth, adaptability, and resilience.
Understanding that identity is fluid is one thing, but shifting self-perception in a meaningful way requires more than awareness—it requires action. The next section explores the power of cognitive reframing, a structured approach to moving beyond outdated narratives that no longer serve us.
Cognitive Reframing: A Top-Down Approach to Identity
The way we perceive ourselves is not a fixed truth, but a reflection of the narratives we reinforce. When past labels dictate our self-perception, they shape not only how we see ourselves but also how we behave, influencing what we believe is possible. However, identity is not something we passively accept; it is something we can actively reshape. Cognitive reframing provides a top-down approach to identity transformation, allowing us to intentionally shift our internal narratives rather than reacting to old patterns of thought.
Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that involves changing the meaning we assign to experiences, beliefs, and self-perception. It is grounded in neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to reorganise itself in response to new thoughts and behaviours. When we consciously reframe a belief about ourselves, we begin to forge new neural pathways, weakening the old ones that kept us stuck. Research on identity-based habits shows that even small changes in self-perception when reinforced repeatedly, can create lasting transformation.
For example, consider the shift in language between these statements:
Instead of stating, I’m not a leader, reframe as I am developing leadership skills.
Instead of I can’t handle stress, shift to I am learning to regulate my nervous system in high-pressure situations.
Instead of I’m an anxious person, say I sometimes experience anxiety, but I am building resilience.
These subtle but powerful shifts change the way the brain encodes identity. Neuroscientific studies on self-directed neuroplasticity (Schwartz & Begley, 2002) suggest that repeated exposure to new self-concepts strengthens alternative neural pathways, making those new identities feel more natural over time. By replacing rigid labels with growth-oriented statements, we expand our sense of self rather than reinforcing old limitations.
This is particularly important in the context of conscious leadership, where the ability to manage internal narratives directly affects decision-making, resilience, and adaptability. When individuals lead themselves with clarity and intention, they are no longer confined by outdated self-perceptions. Instead of viewing identity as something fixed, they approach it as something they have agency over—a dynamic and evolving process.
This practice is not about denying reality or adopting an artificial sense of optimism. It is about recognising that how we frame our experiences shapes how we engage with them. The more we shift our internal dialogue toward capability and expansion, the more we cultivate an identity that aligns with the life we want to lead and not the labels we are given.
Conclusion: Beyond the Boxes
Labels may help us navigate the world, but they should never define who we are. They provide a language for self-understanding, a way to make sense of our behaviours, strengths, and tendencies. But when we hold onto them too tightly, they become limits rather than tools. When we define ourselves in rigid terms, we risk losing the ability to grow beyond the identities we have inherited, absorbed, or adopted over time.
The next time you catch yourself saying, This is just who I am, pause and ask: Is this truly me, or is it a label I’ve outgrown? Identity is not a single, unchanging construct—it is an unfolding, adaptive process that requires active participation. Who we are at any given moment is shaped by the stories we tell ourselves, the habits we reinforce, and the environments we engage with. By questioning the narratives we have internalised, we open the door to self-expansion rather than self-restriction.
The ability to adapt, reframe, and grow is what distinguishes those who remain confined by their past from those who step into new possibilities. Identity should not be a set of boundaries that limit our engagement with life; rather, it should be seen as a capacity that we develop—a capacity to handle more, to move beyond avoidance, and to navigate complexity without retreating into outdated self-perceptions.
This is the essence of true self-mastery: not defining ourselves by labels, but by the capacity we build to meet life with adaptability, resilience, and resourcefulness. Instead of seeing identity as a fixed script, we can see it as an evolving expression of who we choose to become.
We are not meant to remain static. Growth is not about discarding all aspects of ourselves but about integrating and expanding, refining who we are through lived experience. The more we allow ourselves to evolve beyond the categories we have been given, the more we build a sturdy, adaptable self—one that is not confined by past narratives but shaped by the choices we make in the present.
So rather than asking, Who am I? ask instead, Who am I becoming? The answer lies not in a fixed identity but in the ongoing process of self-discovery, self-leadership, and continuous transformation.
Further Reading
Flourishing: Integrating Human Design for Personal and Professional Fulfillment
Sturdiness: The Anchor of Self-Leadership
Identity-Based Habits: Who You Do Becomes Who You Are
Mastering Your Energy, Rather Than Time: Conscious Leadership
Further Reading:
If you’re looking to dive deeper into the topics of identity, neuroplasticity, cognitive reframing, and self-leadership, here are five books that complement the insights in this article:
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment – Eckhart Tolle. A powerful exploration of how attachment to labels and thought-based identities limits personal growth. Tolle provides practical insights on shifting beyond self-imposed limitations through presence and awareness.
The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science – Norman Doidge, M.D. A fascinating look at neuroplasticity, showing how the brain rewires itself in response to experiences, thoughts, and habits. This book reinforces the idea that identity is not fixed but adaptable.
Mindset: Changing The Way You Think to Fulfil Your Potential – Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D. Introduces the concept of fixed vs. growth mindsets, demonstrating how shifting self-perceptions and breaking free from rigid labels can lead to expanded potential and personal transformation.
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones – James Clear. Explains how identity is formed through repeated habits and how small, intentional shifts in self-perception and behaviour can lead to lasting transformation. A must-read for anyone looking to take practical steps beyond labels.
The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth – Amy C. Edmondson. Examines how fear and rigid identity labels prevent adaptability and self-leadership. This book highlights the importance of psychological safety in fostering a flexible and evolving sense of self.
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